Thin Lizzy

Thin Lizzy

Thin Lizzy was a makeup artist and professional disguise master whose career was primarily focused on creating affordable makeups and cosmetic products for Cryptoids, demons and daedric entities. This makeup was promised by Thin Lizzy to reduce unsightly details such as flaming skin, goat horns, damned tattoos, and other clear indications of nonmortality which rotted ones sought to conceal.

Cowardice

She fled the United States in 4 BB after her premeire product, 'Lizzy's Demon-Away' was revealed to be a total sham. This was revealed when one of the bugspawn of Malike Tragedia, Frederick Heineman Tragedia, attempted to apply Lizzy's Demon-Away (LDA) and subsequently attempted to enter a Kroger's grocery store in Nebraska City, Kansas. Unfortunartunately, the effects of Thin Lizzy's makeup were negligible, and Frederick Heineman Tragedia was chased out of the store by overweight employees on mobility scooters, who wielded pitch forks and swords, threatening to behead Frederick purely because he was a 110 foot tall demon.

Legal Troubles

Frederick was traumatized by this incident, and sought $1 million in damages (emotional trauma) from Thin Lizzy. Lizzy only possessed a total net worth of $600,000 USD in assets. Thusly, a court ruled in Frederick's favor, and Lizzy was forced to liquidate her business and assets, including her townhome and car. This was not pleasurable to Thin Lizzy, who refused to comply with the court order, and viciously bit the court officer who attempted to serve notice of her conviction at her doorstep. This man was rushed to the hospital and subsequently succumbed to his injuries, earning Thin Lizzy several new charges, including Aggravated Assault, Conspiracy against the Government, and Manslaughter of the 1st Degree. Additionally, a charge of Contempt of Court was brought against Lizzy when she failed to comply with the court documents the officer had delivered to her doorstep. A warrant was issued for her arrest by Kansas State Police, and a nationwide manhunt was exhumed in an effort to entrap and bring justice for the deceased court officer; but, perhaps more importantly, Frederick.

Jaundice

Thin Lizzy suffered from Jaundice, a discoloration disorder which resulted from low oxygen in the blood and failure to breathe correctly. This was potentially due to her lack of nose or sinuses or blood. Following her convictions, she attempted to go into hiding. She attempted to use her line of cosmetics to blend in with the common folk of Nebraska City. She believed that if she simply lay low for a few weeks, all would be forgotten and forgiven. She during this time also began to consume more fruit and vegetables.

Unfortunately for Lizzy, as mentioned previously, the actual efficacy of her makeup and cosmetics was highly dubious. Unbenknownst to Thin Lizzy, her makeup failed to conceal her gaping, bleeding maw of a mouth, hollow black eye sockets, and smooth bone protrusion where a nose should be. Her makeup also failed to conceal her freakish height and weight, both of which were 1.5x the size of a normal person.

Thusly, Lizzy was apprehended at a Whole Foods Grocery Store on the corner of Mullberry Street and Grape Road in the Fuckwool neighborhood of Nebraska City. After attempting to devour a K9 unit, Thin Lizzy was shot dead by FBI agents. Her body lifelessly melted into a black sludge and seeped back into the ground, from whence she had came.

Dedications

A memorial was arranged by Thin Lizzy's mother, Ish'massie, who held a funeral at the Nebraska City Jefferson Funeral Home. There were no attendees. Thusly, the funeral was cancelled, and Ish'massie grieved alone.