BLAMPIST-1 G

BLAMPIST-1 G

BLAMPIST-1 G (Vardonna) was an arid world covered in dunes of sodium chloride (salt) and a subterrenean ocean, lush with aquatic plants and creatures. The sixth and most populous planet of the BLAMPIST-1 system, it was home to around 10 billion humash who referred to themselves as 'Vardonnens'. The Vardonnens settled BLAMPIST-1 G in the 15,000,000s BB. This is the story of their world...

First Settlement

The history of Vardonna was a tale passed down for eons through generations of Vardonnens. Legend goes that in the year 55,555,555 BB, when the Milky Way was young, BLAMPIST-1 aligned perfectly with then-medium sized black hole Sagittarius A. The seven planets, many still brewing with liquid surfaces and doomed moons, were locked, for a moment, in a perfect line pointing toward the Milky Way's core. Directly opposite BLAMPIST-1, on the far side of Sagittarius A, was another seven-planet solar system, which also aligned with the black hole. It was said that in honor of the beauty and splendor of this occassion that the Gods delivered from a white portal two humash; a man, Mada, and another man, Evan.

In these days, Vardonna was a dark water world; churning with tropical storms and monumental winds. Its poles were frigid blizzard vortexi, and its equator was a volcanic hotspot.

However, when the humash descended from the heavens, Mada carried by Father Snow, and Evan by Ed Wool, the planet's climate immediately stabilized; equalized across its entire surface, due to the harmonious duality of Mada, the masculine, and Eve, the feminine. Vardonna adopted a universal surface temperature of 69 degrees Fahrenheit, the perfect temperature for humash to thrive. And thrive they did.

Wardenniums

After five days on the surface of BLAMPIST-1 G, the young humash awoke one morning to find an infant nestled in the salt dunes outside their home. This infant held in the palms of his hands a seemingly innocuous number '5', and babbled incoherently at Mada and Evan. This boy, who they named Cha'ril, would become quite the influential figure.

As Mada and Evan raised their new progeny, they developed their homestead. As generations passed and their family expanded, the homestead grew into a large settlement, Vardonsted. Humash were, unless physically wounded, immortal, and thusly the family expanded at an exponential rate. Cha'ril exhibited great affinity and connection with the Legume, one of the first Omniversal beings to do so. Each night he would point up at the sky, toward the brightest two stars in the sky. At first, Mada and Evan were mystified by this action. However, with the advent of astronomy, they discovered that Cha'ril was pointing toward two stars- encircled by four planets- this being the Ghetsin-Todd system.

Maturroids

Cha'ril reached maturity after 555 years, as was foreseen by Ig Serroid Lower Dimensional Surveillance Unit #2210. By this point, Vardonsted was the largest population center in the BLAMPIST-1 system. Mada and Evan had retired to a ranch over the ridge, and Cha'ril had been charged with governance of the civilization. However, this was a mighty task for one to undertake alone, and thus he began indulging a new urge, that being to romanticize and to marry.