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Consequences

From The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki
Revision as of 05:10, 9 July 2022 by w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II
Unforeseen Consequences

One Nudge Too Far

The Consequences were a series of unforeseen events which occurred as a direct result of the oversaturation of meddling with Omniversal Spacetime, namely that done by G-Man and G-Man (Timefracture Alpha).

Unlike your universe (Reality 12), the Rick Hernia Omniverse was finite and was not constantly expanding. There was a defined edge of the Omniverse, beyond which was a mysterious green void. The Omniverse as such could only safely contain a certain amount of energy, space, and time. Unfortunately for the Omniverse, there were certain beings which disregarded this limit, and they suffered catastrophic consequences because of it.

Time, Doctor Freeman?

The Consequences happened all at once, and then they had never happened at all. As the breakage and timefracture of reality was reaching it's limit, the two G-Men were nudging and altering the fabric of the Omniverse at an exponentially accelerating rate. The Omniverse began bending in on itself, the outer wall unable to contain the overflow of energy and matter within it. The Grand Mysterium, an anomolous gravity well, began coalescing on the southwest interior of the Omniverse. The Grand Mysterium was a pool of gravity with no object to gravitate to. The Grand Mysterium collapsed suddenly into a massive warp vacuum. It was here that the Consequences really began piling up.

Rise of the G-Men

The first ever Omniversal Timefracture had been G-Man (Timefracture Alpha). By the time of the formation of the Grand Mysterium, there was an infinite quantity of G-Man Alpha variant entities suppressed outside of the Omniversal plane. G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)'s appearance had happened by chance, at a random time (the MAGA King's Inaugeration). However, outside of the four dimensions on an alternate plane of nonexistence, there existed a G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) variant for every infinitely small fracture of time in the entire history of the Omniverse; from inception to Final Moment. When the Grand Mysterium collapsed in on itself, creating a void of matter and spacetime, these G-Men were quick to use this tear in the fabric of reality as a door into the Omniverse.

Omniversal Annihilation

The infinite G-Men fashioned a massive castle, often dubbed the 'Gastle' by historians, from Dark Matter and anti-protonic atoms, which greatly destabilized the already unstable Omniverse. They constructed this extradimensional spacetime error around the ever-expanding Grand Mysterium. Infinite quantities of G-Men began teleporting around the Omniverse, altering the fragile reality to a breaking point. When the Omniverse finally reached its limit, time, space, and reality itself fractured and collapsed.

History Undone

When the Omniverse tore open, it popped like a bubble.

Matter was dispelled in every direction and the Grand Mysterium exploded with the force of 500 trillion nuclear bombs. Time unfurled into a transdimensional spatial error machine, with nudges contradicting each other and objects quite literally 'clipping' over one another, like in a videogame. History was heinously and, at times randomly, contorted into a twisted knot of events and places. People and locations appeared in the wrong place at the wrong time. Clumps of dead G-Men floated aimlessly around the tattered Omniverse. The Omniverse splintered into over 400 billion timefractured realities, all of which were rapidly losing matter, time, and gravity.

The Great Correction

The Omniverse was destroyed, but not irreversably. One final, powerful nudge could, ironically, fix this- an Omniversal Rewind.

When the G-Men realized what had been done, and that they had destroyed everyone and everything, around 30% of them felt remorse for the consequences of their actions. These 30% gathered and began poring over every piece of information in the fractured Omniverse, to see if they could reverse the damage they had wrought.

The Rotten Temple of Rannjoe

Fortunately for the G-Men, the Legume was still intact. The merry band of G-Men traveled to the frozen surface of Sol (Where the Temple of Rannjoe was located in this timefracture, haphazardly smashed into the dormant star like an ice pick in a glacier). They entered the Temple of Rannjoe and were greeted by a massive, heinously deformed Rannjoe/Millings combination entity, which repeatedly launched semi trucks full of Coca-Cola at them.

Once the G-Men had quelled the beast, they ventured deeper into the contorted Temple of Rannjoe. Duplicates of Horse MK.2's corpse were adorned with ketchup and motor oil in every room of the temple. The halls were lined with human teeth and phallic lanterns made of Dutt Kroasis bismuth. Every so often, the group encountered a large tile in the floor of the hallway with a screaming human child carved into the center.

The G-Men arrived at the Legume's chambers and found a Francis Merrigold variant, dangerously high on Xen crystals and brandishing the Bidensaber, guarding the door. Francis summoned a draconic hydra from the depths of the Temple, which had copies of the head of Keith Cumshoes instead of the usual reptilian head. When Keith the hydra had been vanquished, and Francis Merrigold had been put to rest, the G-Men entered the chambers.

G-Men V. G-Men

The other 70% of G-Men (apart from the original G-Man and G-Man Alpha) met them in the chambers. They had chosen to rebuild the Grand Mysterium, in hopes of crafting their own Omniverse in their image. The two groups of G-Men were now direct enemies of one another. The Legume's chamber was expanding constantly and creating matter as it went along.

The leader of these G-Men, G-Man (Timefracture Theta Alpha Gamma VI), announced that they were using the Legume's chamber to create a new Omniverse. It would be the center of the G-Man contstructed catastrophe.

The Legume had been surrounded by blackened alien private parts which had been subject to the Scorched Cock Policy. Four versions of the Mummy (one of which had devil horns, and another of which was entirely comprised of plastic) were suspended by their ears over the Legume's throne. A banner of the Great MAGA King hung on the ceiling of the room, with a massive nuclear warhead stuck into its mouth.

The Consequences of the Consequences

The groups of G-Men began to fight, leading to an all-out war. This conflict was literally over before it began. The Legume exploded suddenly. With the Legume, the Omniversal center and anchor of reality obliterated, the Temple of Rannjoe began to crumble to dust. The G-Men faded away into nothingness.

Far away from there, the Legume (aeonic form) gave a stern talking to to G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) and G-Man. The Legume showed them the carnage they had wrought.

The 2 G-Men, standing on a platform of duck feathers and peanut butter above the Grand Canadian Imperial Capitol in Munich, Saturn, agreed to only Nudge when it was absolutely neccessary. The Legume begrudgingly spanked the two entities and sent them on their way. The Legume then dissipated into nothingness, and the Omniverse's tatters collapsed into a microscopic point. The Big Bang occurred, and the Omniverse was instantaneously corrected.

The 2 G-Men were each given Nudge meters which informed them exactly how far they could stretch time in this instance of the Rick Hernia Omniverse. As such, the Consequences never occurred, and this entire article only happened in a bygone reality. The Grand Mysterium never surpassed being a minor gravitational anomaly. Everything occurred as it was meant to, up until the Final Moment, when the Legume was destroyed and the Omniverse came to a close, permanently.