Rick Hernia

Richard Marcus Hernandez Hernia III
	File:Rick Hernia; Rick Hernia's Omniscent form
Aliases	Rick Hernia, Rick, Ricky, Richard, The Based God, Guardian Of The Cum Sta$h,
Relatives	Unnamed Mother, Unnamed Father, Dr. Phil (Possible Uncle), Riley Reid (Possible Cousin) Vero Buge
Affiliation	M.T.O Cadets (Formerly), M.T.O Special Combined Forces Unit (Honourably Discharged), M.T.O Veterans Club , Rick Hernia's Cum Cult Legume
Occupation	Commander of M.T.O. Musician God of Men
Biographical information
Marital status	A$AP KIDNEY $TONE: 199 B.B. - Final Moment (Never Anulled)
Date of birth	February 10th 200 B.B.
Place of birth	Ghetsin 4
Date of death	Final Moment
Place of death	Wreckage of Waifuria Prime
Physical description
Species	Tier 3 Metaphysical Being
Gender	Male
Height	N/A
Weight	N/A
Eye color	N/A
Appearances
Appears in	4 Times, 4 Times Remastered, BA$EDGOD, G@NG $H!T, G@NG $H!T 2, Half-Life 3 Intro Sequence, Phonk Free$tyle, Music Any% Speedrun, Ode To Alex Mk.2,
Debut	4 Times

Rick Hernia was the godlike protagonist of the Rick Hernia Omniverse. He was the only being known to ever reach Tier 3 Status. Rick traveled the Omniverse bringing light to darkness and spreading the incredible powers of the Force, and Legume to those who sought it. Historians theorize that he was the Chosen One.

Early Childhood

Little was known about Rick Hernia before the Great META War. Rick claimed to have been born on Ghetsin 4. However, no such planet ever existed, according to all known records of the Omniverse. It is theorized that he was formed by the Legume. Others hypothesize that his heritage was simply unknown due to Richard being orphaned out to Honorhall Orphanage.

Rick Hernia transitioned considerably quickly from a Tier 1 to a Tier 2 Metaphysical being. This occurrence is considerably rare, and usually takes upwards of 5000 years to complete. Rick Hernia had managed to transition in a matter of 4 years.

Rick Transitioned from Tier 1 to Tier 2 in his room in the Honorhall Orphanage, something that terrified his roommate St. Nick and sent Thing 1 and Thing 2 into a frenzy. Rick soon left the Honorhall Orphanage, although he claimed the split was 'amicable'.

Military Service

Rick joined the ranks of the M.T.O cadets some time around 187 B.B, at the ripe old age of thirteen. Rick impressed his superiors and fellow cadets with his impressive knowledge of the Omniverse.

Rick also demonstrated extraordinary competency with almost any skill he was taught, picking it up and rivaling the masters in proficiency in a matter of hours. He was drawing battle maps and planning decisive victories at only fourteen years old.

Keith Cumshoes

Rick's bunkmate, G-Man's son Keith Cumshoes, wanted to test Rick's perfect record. Rick excelled at all of the areas of combat- and was one of the most highly skilled soldiers on the planet. But Keith wondered- could he rap?

One night, as Keith and Rick were sitting around the campfire, the two were discussing a myriad of topics. Did Sol think? Was grass green? Why was Keith Cumshoes made of blue wood?

After a while, the conversation dwindled. The two sat in silence for a while, content with each other's presence. Keith suddenly popped the question.

"Can you rap?"

"What?"

"Can you rap?"

"Of course I can."

"Do it."

Keith began beatboxing, and Rick laid down a spiritual, lyrical masterpiece. This first rap session would later go on to become their hit song 'BA$EDG0D". Rick and Keith began passing notes during boot camp sessions, laughing at lyrics they wrote; these notes were filled to the brim with inside jokes and threats towards government authorities.

Ascending Through the Ranks

Rick served in the M.T.O Special Combine-Deterrent Forces, after training at Los Angeles School for Combine Deterrence. Rick was soon promoted to Commander of M.T.O Forces. Under Commander Hernia, the M.T.O made great tactical advancements. Rick taught his fellow footsoldiers in combat, planning, survival, and- perhaps most influencial of all- he told them stories of the Legume.

Legume

Rick was, at the time, unsure of why or how he knew so much about the Legume. For as long as he could remember, he had always known everything there was to know about the Legume- not just the hours the Warshippers spent with it, but how to harness its primordial energy. Rick told his M.T.O soldiers about the Legume, and tried to teach them how to harness it for healing and energy. Rick found none of them were able to connect to the Legume in the way he could. This was later attributed to his great proficiency with the Force.

Decapitation

Rick was wounded severely in the great META War, during the Battle of Alexandria, (Decapitated by the Combine General). He was honorably discharged with non-life threatening injuries.

Music Career

After his injury, and the end of the Great META War, Rick found himself being bored at home with nothing to do except eating and masturbating (omniscently). He acquired himself an ASUS laptop and installed a cracked version of FL Studio 12. He and Keith Cumshoes began mixing and mastering rap music together, much to the chagrin of Rick's upstairs neighbors (they were Christian).

Whilst reconnecting with his lifelong friend, Rick found that the found a common interest in videogames, and they soon began playing Terraria together. This was where Steve the Guide entered their reality, ejaculating with such force within the videogame that he tore a hole into Rick's home.

Soon after this, Keith and Rick began their band, initially creating a two-track EP, 'Noticeable Lump in the Abdomen'.

Noticable Lump in the Abdomen

On this release were two fantastic musical masterpieces; 'BA$EDGOD', and '4 Times'. BA$EDGOD was so critically acclaimed that it's release date influenced the Omniversal measuring system (December 31, 2020 became December 31, 0 A.B. (After BA$EDGOD).) This led to a great musical renaissance between Cumshoes and Hernia. While they both worked on original projects, the two formed a band and began producing spiritual lyrical beats at a dubious rate.

Becoming a Warshipper

Rick Hernia ascended to Tier 3 form when he was decapitated by General Grievous. In his Tier 3 Form, Rick Hernia began playing with reality. His fascination with bending the fabric of spacetime caught the eye of the Warshippers, who summoned him to Ghetsin 3 to study the Legume with them. In his Tier 3 form, Rick was unable to travel celestial distances, so the Warshippers asked G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) to escort him, and escort him he did.

Under the Tutelage of Supreme Warshipper Francis Merrigold, Rick began learning the ways of the Legume and, by proxy, the ways of the Force. Hernia's status as a Metaphysical Being helped him quickly surpass his peers, just as he had all those years ago in the M.T.O. Rick quickly mastered the crucial components of being a Warshipper. Francis told Rick the Legume was so impressed with Him that it granted him the status of 'God of Men'. This title was basically meaningless; however, over thousands of years studying the Legume and the Force, Rick Hernia became more powerful than any G-Man could ever dream of. He traveled the Omniverse with the Gleryate, spreading the Force to those deemed worthy.

Rick Hernia was on Ghetsin 3 during the time of Keith's traumatic involvement in the Glue Factory Incident, and as such was not able to comfort his dear friend. However, Rick did send Keith an image of a private part on his body, to cheer the poor guy up.

Space Prophet

Rick's Force powers were an extraordinary gift, and his adeptness with these abilities was far greater than any other being in the Omniverse. Rick endowed countless creatures in systems across the Omniverse during his time with his knowledge in the Force. He learned to take a corporal form, as he had all those years ago in the Great META War, in his Omniversal Incarnate. During this time, Rick Hernia frequently engaged in bitter spats with the Scourge of the Omniverse, Hunter Biden. The two became bitter enemies. Hunter wanted to extinguish the Force from the Omniverse for good, and would stop at nothing to achieve his goal. Hunter had severe daddy issues after being 'raised' by the rotten, wretched Mummy. In their first meeting on Berrand, Hunter Biden called Rick a 'Space Prophet', a name which Rick eventually grew to adore and adopt.

Emperor of Waifuria

Rick served as Emperor of Waifuria for a substantial period in the ninety thousands. He was one of the best-rated emperors in history, and composed the Waifurian Imperial Anthem.